Friday, January 18, 2013

The Beauty of Addiction


ad·dict·ed

Adjective
  1. Physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects.
  2. Enthusiastically devoted to a particular thing or activity.



Most people hear the word addicted and deny guilt while sprinting in the opposite direction. In my opinion, that's unfortunate. Addiction is something we're all affected by in one way or another, directly or indirectly. While we sit atop our mountain of superiority and judgement with the idea that addiction is limited to the poor unfortunate souls living on the streets and suffering from a life filled with sadness, most of us are surrounded or impacted by family members and/or friends with addiction problems or we are functional addicts ourselves.

Technically, if you experience any type of adverse effect (also known as side effects) when you stop taking in a substance or doing an activity, you're experiencing symptoms of addiction...

Ever have headaches if you don't drink your morning coffee?
Can't sleep and/or eat if you stop smoking weed?
Sweaty, anxious, nauseous or shaky if you don't drink alcohol? 
Anxious or feel like you need salty and processed food when you go on a diet?
Feel uncomfortable, anxious and frustrated with your skin color if you don't go tanning?
Find that you're less confident, unable to go out with friends and ashamed of how you look if you don't go shopping?
Irritable after stopping something you do everyday?

If you answered yes to any of the above, or if you haven't even been able to stop the activity long enough to know your answer, welcome to the world of everyday addiction. 

Luckily, not all addiction is life threatening, but we all know deep down that too much of anything isn't necessarily a good thing.

"Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough"
- Mark Twain


I've always had an addictive personality. Addiction is in my blood and it's something I've always had to be mindful of. I like routine and get anxious, bored and irritable when I stop taking in things I'm used to. However, after attending AA meetings for my DUI a few years back, I realized how lucky I am that I CAN STOP the things I have an addictive tendency for. That is hugely important and something I'm incredibly thankful for and appreciative of. As my fit life has grown and become an integral part of my being, I've found that my addictive tendencies can be re-routed to some degree.   

Slowly but surely, I have started seeing the beauty of addiction and how it can be used for good in many ways. From my experience, the best addiction is loving and caring for yourself. Sound stupid? If so, you obviously haven't tried it. 

I am becoming completely and totally addicted to loving myself and making every moment a positive and memorable one.... and I'm never looking back or quitting!  
 
For me, the hardest part has been confronting me, myself and I. Without being fully conscious or aware, I've been numbing myself for as long as I can remember... At least since early high school when I started going out to party. Once I started changing and uprooting my process of addictive tendencies, all those repressed emotions began to surface... The unhealthy relationship I've avoided confronting, the guy I never got over, the fight with a friend I never resolved, the bad decision I made while knowing what the right one would have been.... 1, 2, 5, 10 years ago... What the hell?!? I thought... Why am I waking up in a cold sweat thinking about that one night at that random party in 11th grade?!? The answer was simple - I've been running away from things rather than internally resolving them. The solution was simple as well - allow the memories and feelings to surface, allow the tears to come flowing out, allow myself forgiveness for what I hoped had gone differently and allow history to make me stronger and more self aware... At the end of the day, I must welcome and respect this process of sobering up my mind, not just my body.

I can't tell you how to re-route or address your addictive tendencies, because that's a process and journey you must discover and explore for yourself. However...

I can tell you it's possible... 
I can tell you it's going to change your life in the best way imaginable... 
I can tell you it's worth it... 
I can tell you you're worth it...
I can tell you it's something you won't regret...
I can tell you that you deserve the best...
I can tell you that you can do it...
I can tell you that you can do it...
I can tell you that you can do it...

You can do it.
You are worth it.
You deserve all the beautiful things that life and the world have to offer.
You are worth it.
You can do it.

I believe in you.
Now, take a deep breath and believe in yourself!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Rachel:

    Nice meeting you last night at the Fit Moms Event. Interesting post. As someone who can become fixated on things, I understand where you're coming from.

    I hope we get the chance to meet again sometime soon! Best of luck with your .com and I look forward to reading more.

    Best,
    Melissa Burton
    http://www.thevalentineRD.com

    ReplyDelete